100 Thoughts

In the past, in a previous blog (a MySpace blog), I got bored one night and wrote a “100 About Me Facts” Blog. I really enjoyed writing it, and I enjoy looking back on it every once in a while. So, I’ve decided I’m gonna do another, similar blog. Although, rather than making this “About Me”, its going to be 100 random thoughts, musings, and anecdotes from my perspective. A lot of them will probably be in some form of a question. Ponder them. Hope you enjoy. Read them all, or just a few. Let me know if there’s any that strike you.

1. I hope these don’t all contain the words “I”, “me”, “my”, or “mine”. I’m going to try my hardest to avoid it.

2. “Be careful what you wish for, it may come true.” This is one of the truest statements I have ever heard. Just think about it a little. (from “The Breakdown” by Mae).

3. Music is my favorite form of art. But anything that can express so much emotion without words gets a gold star.

4. Clarification of above statement: lyrics are the least important aspect of music, and, generally, are not necessary, but that does not mean that they cannot be profound.

5. I really just want a hug right now.

6. If I don’t know you, don’t offer a hug in the comments.

7. Somedays I wonder if school is where I’m supposed to be. While there are definitely days where studying what I love (music) thrills me, and I’m so happy to be where I’m at, there are days where I just can’t shake the thought that I could be doing more with that passion if I wasn’t in school.

8. That being said, a diploma (specifically a Bachelor’s of Science) is a prerequisite to any other sort of major document, including, but not limited to, a marriage license (which is a good thing, since the idea of being married scares me). Ha.

9. Hearing a kid laugh can make the worst day amazing.

10. I have no intention of ever being a mother.

11. I still think about Grams everyday. Isn’t this supposed to get easier with time?

12. Books. A person can never have enough.  A person can never read enough.

13. Favorite Fiction: The God of Small Things By Arundhati Roy.

14. Favorite NonFiction: The Irresitable Revolution By Shane Claiborne

15. Cooking is theraputic.

16. Eating what I cook is theraputic.

17. I used to tell people I didn’t know how to cook.

18. I miss it a lot now.

19. When I move (in 8 days!), I hope to start cooking more.

20. I finally get my bed back when I move. I’m excited. My dorm mattress is less than amazing.

21. My brain works in numbers and math.

22. If you think about it, that explains why I’m so good with music theory.

23. God is Good.

24. Number 23 is a lie.

25. God is beyond any words.

26. The realization that I’m more an adult than ever before (with the joined responsibilities) is a bit overwhelming.

27. I’m excited to see how life continues to play out.

28. I almost just repeated number 12. Can I make it to 100?

29. If a person can’t drive a manual/standard, they shouldn’t be allowed to have a license. (If they CHOOSE to drive an automatic after that, fine, but they really should learn both.)

30. I’m home on a Friday night, writing this, nonetheless. What is wrong with the world?

31. I have a ten page paper due Sunday at midnight… I’ll start it tomorrow.

32. “If this isn’t love, this is the closest I’ve ever been.” (from “Audrey, Start the Revolution” by Anberlin)

33. My music just stopped playing, and, for once, it’s not bothering me to sit in silence.  I guess it’s a good thing to finally be content with my own thoughts.

34. I have the urge to make cookies. Anyone want some?

35. “It seems like only yesterday that we were calling today tomorrow.” (“Pot-Shots” by Ashleigh Brilliant) Ever feel this way?

36. Kevin and his parents gave me a leg lamp (you know, like the one in the movie “A Christmas Story”, but only smaller) for Christmas.

37. Be careful what you say around Kevin’s parents, lest you end up with a leg lamp for Christmas. Ha.

38. I’m no longer comfortable in what used to be my “second home”.

39. The Labyrinth was an excellent movie. It’s a shame my copy is in storage right now.

40. Life shouldn’t be lived trying to reach the end, but rather to make memories so that, when you do reach the end, you have a million reasons to smile.

41.”You look like a sunny day, when I look outside and it’s storming.” (from “Easy to Fall in Love” by Brighten) I want to look like a sunny day when he looks outside and it’s storming.

42. Is the answer to the question of life.

43. I enjoy just watching candles burn.

44. Framed on my desk: “What you risk reveals what you value.” -Jeanette Winterson. What have I been risking lately?

45. “You can roll a Rolo to a pal.” …I’m eating a Rolo right now.

46. I found a website compiling one sentence submissions from readers the other day, and found something that made me realize I’m not alone in the world: “I know 18 digits of Pi and the Quadratic formula, but have to make an ‘L’ with my hand to remember which way is left.”

47. I wish I knew Pi to the 18th digit. I’m stuck at like 7. 3.1415926.

48. I want to start looking for a good tattoo artist.  I have 2 I want to get done. One as soon as I find an artist (that’s been in the works for probably close to 3 years now…), and one in December.

49. It’s almost summer. Yay!

50. Only halfway done? I remember this being easier.  Then again, I’m trying to avoid major repeats.

51. The bottom braces should be coming off soon. I’m stoked.

52. I need to make time to take my car to get an oil change. I almost feel like an abusive car owner.

53. Next semester is going to be rough, but once I make it through, I’ll be a junior, with a few extra credits (which will be by the end of 2009).

54. For those of you who don’t know, I graduated Class of 2008.

55. See number 25.

56. Swing dancing, anyone?

57. Finals need to be over. Like now. Not in a week.

58. I should be better at the guitar than I am.

59. I just packed my books. My desk looks empty and sad.

60. Insomnia needs to die.

61. How did I fit so much stuff in half a bedroom? I think I have more stuff here than I do in storage (which is the entirety of the rest of my earthly possessions), minus furniture.

62.There is a Christmas tree in the trunk of my car. It’s been there since December.

63. It isn’t right that, in his prime, Robert Plant had nicer hair than I do now.

64. I still want a hug. (It’s the day after I originally wrote this. I’ve been working on it for three days. It’s harder than the first one was.)

65. His kisses send chills down my spine and through my limbs. Every time. They literally take my breath away.

66. Lars, my gnome, is cooler than you.

67. My cat is also cooler than you. I’m stoked to have her back in my care within a week.

68. Ah! I’m moving in a week.

69. One year ago, I would not have guessed any of what’s happened in the last year would have happened.

70. Am I the only one with an obsession with clocks?

71. Most of these are about me, specifically. Sad day.

72. Numerous people have adopted the use of the phrase “sad day” just from being around me.

73. If I actually change my status on Messenger from “online” it usually becomes “Out to Lunch”… regardless of the time of day.

74. Fuzzy’s senior picture from the fall of 1964 is on my bulletin board. He was a handsome chap!

75. The last 4 movies I’ve watched have been Kubrick films. Dr. Strangelove, 2001:A Space Odyssey, The Shining, and I’m watching A Clockwork Orange as I type this.

76. There is something beautifully intriguing to well-executed sword work.

77. Breakfast cereal makes the best late night snack.

78. Lambo Diablo = Sexy.

79. I have so much inspiration right now, but am perpetually at a loss for words, especially in terms of writing new music.

80. “I’m singing in the rain…” is currently being sung in this movie (see number 75).

81. The day I met a certain boy, we were walking around downtown and he jumped onto the base of a lightpole and started singing “Singing in the rain.”

82. I’m smiling right now.

83. Today I learned that Hitler’s favorite composer was Wagner.

84. I have an unnatural interest in WWII, and the Cold War, as well as various types of government.

85.”…in theory.” “But the thing about theories is…” “What’s the thing about theories?” “Well, communism works, in theory.”

86. Yes, I actually use that in conversation.

87. I have a ratehr dry, British type sense of humor.

88. An amazing night: a good book, a warm blanket, jazz, and hot tea (green tea or chai, specifically).

89. An alternate amazing night: any night spent with him.

90. I’ve decided that I need to brush up on my composers and classical music.

91. “Where is fancy bred: in the heart, or in the head?” (from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”)

92. Tophats on brides are awesome.

93. The thought of piercings makes me sick to my stomach.

94. Drummers are awesome by default. I kind of have a soft spot for them.

95. I want to have lunch with Former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara (Johnson and Kennedy administrations), who also was President of the Ford Motor Company as well as the World Bank.

96. If you have never seen it, go watch the documentary “The Fog of War”. You can watch it here if you have time: http://quicksilverscreen.com/watch?video=50289

97. It’s 3am. I have church in 8 hours. Then I have to come home and finish a paper. Yet, I’m writing this.

98. I can’t wait to not have train tracks 30ft outside my bedroom.

99. Even though this list is complete, I hope you all add some of your own thoughts and anecdotes and favorite quotes in the comments.

100. miao xD

Word PHAILS

This is a screen shot from my mac of how epically Microsoft Word fails. Just check out the little red box. Maybe I should actually start using pages for more than publishing/layout… hmm. Haha.

Old Statuses

If there is one thing I actually miss about Facebook/MySpace, it would have to be the ability to update status (and mood on MySpace).  While I wasn’t the person to update about every little thing I did, I did enjoy finding poingnant, fun, and cute statuses, usually from song lyrics.  I tended to re-use ones I really enjoyed, or even leave them up for weeks at a time despite my daily visitation to the sites.  Below is a list of some of my favorites.

(One more thing: I do not have twitter and do not plan to start “tweeting” at any time in the near future. It’s just not worth it for me, especially since I just recycle updates and leave them for long periods of time.)

So, back to that list:

Alix Margaret…:

§ wants to look like a sunny day when he looks outside and it’s storming. (Brighten)
§ “My life is the poem I would have writ, but I could not both live and utter it.” (Thoreau)
§ is not the one to tell you, ‘you’re gonna be safe’ but I’ll stay up at night and keep your bad dreams at bay. (Allison Francis)
§ 39:84. (See previous post entitled 39:84)
§ 12:34 xD (This is something very personal to me.  I try to explain it to people, but they rarely actually understand, save a few.  So, here’s the “condensed” version of why 12:34 is important to me: I’m an insomniac. When I was in middle school and couldn’t sleep, I always managed to catch the clock at 12:34 almost every night.  I decided that if I would use that to help me remember how blessed I am.  So, every time I would see 12:34 on my clock, I would think of someone or something that made me smile and thank God for it. That way, I’d have happy thoughts and a smile on my face.  It’s stuck with me for the last 6 years. Now, when I see 12:34, I still smile and I still thank God for amazing people in my life. To be honest, it’s almost upset to catch the clock at 12:35 and think that I missed it, but I’ve learned that I can smile whenever and thank God whenever as well.)

And, for whatever reason, my mind just blanked on the others that I loved so much… the only one I can recall immediately is:
§ …so it goes. (Vonnegut)

and that is a less memorable one that I’d much rather not think about. If you’ve ever read Slaughterhouse Five, you’ll understand. If you know what’s gone on in my life in the last 6 months or so, you’ll understand as well. If not, I’m not explaining. Go read the book.

Somedays I Think I’m Blessed;

Other days I think I’m a spoiled brat.

I still haven’t figured out which days I’m right.

Anyway, today, I’m thinking it’s a bit of both.  If I weren’t blessed, life would not be what it is like right now. Or even anywhere close to it.  And, today, I’m feeling quite a bit spoiled.

Some of the reasons why:

§ The semester is over in 2 weeks. It’s been a good one, but I’m excited for a bit of a break.
§ My car hasn’t been giving me any fits or problems.
§ My family seems to be doing increasingly better as a whole.
§ I just started a job that I’m feeling very confident about, and very comfortable with. (Not to mention I got this job due to the help of an amazing friend.)
§ There is an more than amazing boy in my life right now, and while I’m not entirely sure where it’s going or what to expect, I’m enjoying it nonetheless. Heck, I’ve been enjoying it for a while now.  He makes me smile more that I think he realizes. I just wish he’d smile a bit more.

And, possibly most pressing and exciting at the moment:
§ I have found my next apartment.  It is in a quaint part of Aurora (not the ghetto), is a 2 bedroom, is half of what I’m paying to live where I live now, and is closer to that new job as well as LightRail for school.  Oh, and I don’t have a roommate. It is almost too good to be true, but I know it’s all because of God.  He truly is amazing.

So, today, I think I’m blessed. But tomorrow I’ll realize that I’m spoiled.

Labyrinth

I really want to watch Labyrinth (you know, the movie about David Bowie’s crotch? lol).  I’m currently listening to Magic Dance and it’s not helping. In fact it’s making it worse, but I just wanted to post this:

You remind me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
The power of voodoo.
Who do?
You do.
Do what?
Remind me of the babe.

Fun stuff.

Beautiful

Pictures speak a thousand words, right? What words do these speak to you? To me, they’re as profound as any of the number of quotes I’ve fallen in love with.

These are two images that I just happened to run across while running a few Google Image searches.  They are possibly two of my favorite pictures I’ve randomly found online.  That, for one, should definitely tell you something about me.  Especially since I’m not one for saving internet pictures.  Regardless, I fell in love with these pictures because they are both highly impractical.  And there is something sensual about them in a less than conventional way.  It may seem somewhat odd that I find these two pictures of women with books sensual, but to me, it makes perfect sense. Most people wouldn’t argue the statement that sensual does not necessarily mean sexy, racy, risque.

While these pictures could easily be referred to as “sexy” they are in no way racy, vulgar, obscene, or any of a slew of other words.

But they…

are inspiring;
model attributes I value in myself, or at least strive to instill in myself (including a little bit of impracticality when it comes to following your passions);
stand as perfect examples of how attractive being consumed with something you love can be;
are calming;
make me want to pick up my newest book (Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, actually)
show a little class;
show a lack of refinement.

It makes me sad to think that there are so many people that could never appreciate the sensuality of these images.  Being bombarded daily by the media and even people we know with a skewed sense of sensuality, and sexuality, is something that I only wish was a non-issue.  I know there are many who agree because of the effects these have on young girls. Or who agree because as Christians we’re held to a higher standard and this makes that harder.  Or even those who agree because it is sad to think that so many women (and men) have so little regard for themselves.  I agree with all of these people, but these aren’t the MOST important reasons to me.  It breaks my heart because this skewed sensuality has led to skewed beauty.  I think that this is the reason so many people find it difficult to find beauty in the little things, or even refuse to try.

I hope you all find the above pictures beautiful, or at least are able to understand why I do. If you don’t, know you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

39:84

“As things stand, a woman born in Swaziland in Southern Africa can only expect to live until she’s 39. But a woman in Switzerland can expect to live until she’s 84.

“It’s crazy. In Belgium, there are 449 doctors for every 100,000 people. In Tanzania, there are two.

“These aren’t just numbers. These are people’s lives.  That’s why it’s time for justice. And that’s why your power is so powerful.”

This is on my bulletin board above my desk.  I see it multiple times every day.  It’s been there since November and it still breaks my heart.  The only thing I don’t agree with is my power being powerful.  It’s God’s power.  Regardless, I feel that these are just two statistics out of an entire world of pain, suffering, illness, etc.  I want to do something about it so badly, but I don’t know how or where to start.  That breaks my heart as well.

Lindy Workshop

So, it has recently been brought to my attention that on May 9, the Merc is hosting a Lindy Hop workshop.

I’m tempted to go. It’s $50-$60 depending on when I register, which I think I could justify.

My problem is that I don’t wanna go alone.  I hate going places by myself (unless its the Denver Diner).  So, does anyone wanna join me?  It’s a beginner’s workshop, so you don’t have to have a background in swing, just a willingness to try it!  So, if you’re free on that Saturday, have the cash for it, wanna spend a day with me having a bit o’ fun, and don’t have any major health issues that would prevent you from being able to enjoy the experience, you should let me know!

The Sign of a Literary Masterpiece?

I just finished George Orwell’s 1984.

I had been anticipating reading it for probably close to 2 years (and just never got around to it).

I’m definitely glad that I did finally read it, but I was expecting it to rank closer to the top on my list of “Books Everyone Should Read”.

While Orwell did an excellent job of portraying his vision of dystopian society, all the way to the very end, I cannot help but be a bit upset and angry at the outcome.  At the same time, I understand that the outcome was inevitable and any other ending would’ve nulled the entirety of the work. (If you are not familiar with the book and it’s ending, I recommend that you go read A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, THEN 1984 by Orwell.  This is to ensure that you can see the way the two novels vary, and to ensure that you read the better of the two novels (ABNW, IMO) without the altered point of view provided by 1984.)

So, now I’m wondering about the validity of Orwell’s novel.  I mean, the fact that there was only 1 conceivable ending has to say something about the quality of the work.  I’m just not sure if it is proof that this is a literary masterpiece (the novel set up so perfectly that only one ending is possible), or that it is a poorly written piece of limited scope (a singular ending seeming to point to the fact that the entire novel was overly-contrived and left with little room to develop itself).

When it comes down to it, though, I know that this is exactly how Orwell intended it to be.  Is not my disgust and simultaneous acceptance of the inevitable conclusion his purpose in writing the novel? Even more pressing: is not my disgust and simultaneous acceptance of the inevitable conclusion a very real and palpable example of doublethink in action?

Finally!

After close to 5 months of job-hunting, this morning, I finally recieved an offer for a position that I interviewed for.  I consider myself lucky, no, blessed, to have only had a 5 month down time (I know a lot of people who were on the hunt for around a year!).  I am incredibly excited to work for this company, and am stoked that it’s not simply answering phones or standing at a retail counter.  The president of the company knows that I am a student, and maintaining my status as a full time student is a condition of retaining employment with this company, and they’re willing to work with my schedule.

I knew God had something amazing for me, but I never would’ve expected this.  I think it’s a really good thing.

It makes me a little sad to think that I’m going to have to start budgeting my time better and that my free time just got cut in half (at least), but I still do have some, and I don’t have to worry about working weekends. Hoo-Ray.

Now that that’s settled, I need to keep praying about living arrangements for after May.  God provided me with this job, though, so I have no doubt that he’ll arrange for a place to stay as well.