I just realized that the halfway point between the last time I got to see someone amazing and the projected next time I will get to see them has passed.
A ten week stretch, and today marks the end of week five.
I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve seen him, or that it will be at least this long again until I do, but, so far, he seems to be worth the wait. I haven’t been disappointed yet. 
that I am capable of empathy.
Sympathy is something I’ve generally been good at in the past. Sympathy allowed me to help other people and support them almost as a way to avoid my own feelings. I still do this, a lot, to be honest.
And, I guess I’ve never really had a problem being empathetic with people I don’t know (think 39:84…. and no, that reference won’t stop anytime soon… I want to drill it into your heads!)… in fact part of my tattoo I’m in the process of looking for an artist for is the Hebrew word “za’aq”. It means to cry out, and to call together. Written next to the word on my bulletin board is:
“I live in a world that is crying out. I am to hear that cry. I am to feel that cry. I am to allow God to use me to eliminate the causes of that cry.”
I’ve felt that cry. I’ve broken down in prayer over that cry. I have physically felt that cry. But never for anyone I know.
If you don’t know, when I get upset, I get nauseous. I get headaches. I get tremors. I get to the point where breathing becomes diffcult. I get restless. My insomnia gets worse. I lose my appetite. I rarely cry. Negative emotion just doesn’t manifest itself that way for me, often.
So, today, I got some really bad news from a friend. News that has dramatic implications on their life, on their future. And, all day, mentally, I’ve been distraught just trying to fathom what they must be dealing with. And, all day, I’ve felt nauseous. I’ve had a headache. I’ve been physically feeling the effects of their struggles. This is definitely a first. It’s been weird, to say the least. Not to mention I’m a little concerned based on who I’m feeling this empathy for, but that’s a different story for a different time.
What’s crazy, though, or rather, what I appreciate about this most is the fact that all day, I have been constantly reminded to pray for this person, and for their struggles, so I’m not going to completely dismiss the value of this empathy thing.
I know my mom is less than apt to actually think to check this, but a Happy Mother’s Day to her.
I give her a lot of crap about her “parental status” with me, but, truth be told, I’m really glad to have her around. She has shown me how not to live my life, but has also shown me what a real passion for God looks like. She has shown me that, sometimes, God puts us in places that are less than what we think to be amazing, but always have a better purpose. She has shown me that even when I screw up, I am still lovable. I thank her for that. I was considering posting a picture of her here, but for whatever reason, I don’t have any recent pictures of her. It’s probably because when she’s around, I opt to use HER camera rather than mine, and still have to obtain those pictures.
And… not to be overlooked:
Happy Mother’s Day to Grams. I miss her so much, and it’s still hard to believe that she’s not here for me to go stop by and take some flowers to. She was an angel sent from God, nothing less. I owe almost everything I am today to her. She taught me what selflessness looked like, and ensured that I became a well-mannered, responsible member of society. I’m very glad she did. 
I love that she knew the plans God has for me as well as I do. And, so, she was able to support me in all of my less than logical decisions that are getting me to where I need to be. I am so blessed to have had such an amazing woman to lead me as I grew up, and I can only pray that God will continue to grow me into being a woman like her.
Another:
Happy Mother’s Day, Stevi. Yeah, you’re a bit unorthodox, and it’s still weird to think that you ever had a kid (has it really been 4 years already?), but Smarty is blessed to have you in his life and to know that you love him.
Last One:
Happy Mother’s Day to Fuzzy. Cuz, deep down, he really is just one old mother…. 
